This is the first in a series of translations of selections from the work Matali al-Budur fi jawami akhbar al-Burur by Sheikh Ahmed al-Sideeq al-Ghumari al-Hasani. This excellent book is a compilation of Hadith divided into over 80 chapters on the topic of being good to parents (Birr al-Walidayn). ‘Birr al-Walidayn’ can mean to show parents kindness, righteousness, obedience, to give them excellent companionship, and to maintain ties with them amongst many other meanings. In-sha-Allah I will be translating excerpts and adding some of the Sheikh’s commentary as footnotes. Wa billahi al-tawfiq.
Part 1 – The Necessity (wujoob) of Being Kind To Them
Allah Most High has said:
وَٱعْبُدُوا۟ ٱللَّهَ وَلَا تُشْرِكُوا۟ بِهِۦ شَيْـًٔا ۖ وَبِٱلْوَٰلِدَيْنِ إِحْسَـٰنًا
Worship Allah and do not associate partners with Him at all, and treat your parents with excellence.
Surah al-Nisa: 36 1
He also said:
وَقَضَىٰ رَبُّكَ أَلَّا تَعْبُدُوٓا۟ إِلَّآ إِيَّاهُ وَبِٱلْوَٰلِدَيْنِ إِحْسَـٰنًا
And your Lord has decreed that you should only worship Him and that you treat your parents with excellence.
Surah al-Isra: 23 2
Abu Hurayra reported that:
A man came to the Prophet ﷺ and said ‘What do you command me to do?’. The Prophet ﷺ said “Show kindness to your mother”. The man returned (with the same question) and the Prophet ﷺ said “Show kindness to your mother”. Then the man returned again and the Prophet ﷺ said “Show kindness to your mother”. Then the man returned for a fourth time and the Prophet ﷺ said “Show kindness to your mother.”
Al-Bukhari narrated it in al-Adab al-Mufrad with a sound chain
Abdullah ibn Umar reported that:
A man came to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ to give allegiance (bayah) and migrate to him. He had left his parents behind crying so the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said to him “Return to them and make them laugh just as you made them cry.”
Narrated by Abd al-Razzaq in al-Musanaf, al-Bukhari in al-Adab al-Mufrad and al-Hakim in al-Mustadrak. Al-Hakim said it has a sound chain.
Abu Saeed al-Khudri reported that:
A man from Yemen migrated to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ who said to him “Do you have anyone back in Yemen?”. He said ‘My parents’. He ﷺ said “Did they give you permission to come?”. He said ‘No’. The Prophet ﷺ said “Then return to them and ask for permission. If they permit you then you can (come back and) perform jihad and if they do not, then stay and look after them well”.
Narrated by Abu Dawud and Ibn Hibban in his Saheeh
Some of the Sahaba reported that:
We were with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ under the shade of a tree between Makkah and Medina, when a Bedouin who was one of the most well-built and strongest of men, came. He said ‘O Messenger of Allah ﷺ, I would love to stay with you, and I find within myself so much strength, and I want to fight the enemy alongside you and in front of you’. The Prophet ﷺ said “Do you have any of your parents?”. He said ‘Yes’. He ﷺ said “Go to them, stay with them, show kindness to them, and be grateful to Allah and be grateful to them.” He said ‘But I find within myself strength and energy to fight the enemy.’ The Prophet ﷺ said “Go and stay with them.” So he went away and we were left amazed by his physical form and body.
Narrated by Ibn Abi Asim in al-Sunnah with a sound chain as mentioned by al-Badr al-Ayni in al-Umdah3
Footnotes
1) Allah Most High has emphasised their rank to the extent that He attached showing excellence to them, to His Oneness (Tawhid), Exalted is He. (Sheikh Ahmed al-Sideeq al-Ghumari al-Hasani, Matali al-Budur fi jawami akhbar al-Burur)
2) Had nothing other than these two ayahs been revealed about parents it would be sufficient! (ibid)
3) Imam al-Nawawi said in Sharh Muslim that the scholars are in agreement in regards to the affair of showing kindness to parents (birr al-walidayn) and that disrespecting them (uquq) is haram and one of the major sins (kaba’ir). (ibid)
Orthodox Muslim 