This is the second in a series of translations of selections from the work Matali al-Budur fi jawami akhbar al-Burur by Sheikh Ahmed al-Sideeq al-Ghumari al-Hasani. This excellent book is a compilation of Hadith divided into over 80 chapters on the topic of being good to parents (Birr al-Walidayn). ‘Birr al-Walidayn’ can mean to show parents kindness, righteousness, obedience, to give them excellent companionship, and to maintain ties with them amongst many other meanings. In-sha-Allah I will be translating excerpts and adding some of the Sheikh’s commentary as footnotes. Wa billahi al-tawfiq.
Part 2 – The Necessity (wujoob) of Being Kind To Them Even If They Are Not Muslim
Allah Most High has said:
أَنِ ٱشْكُرْ لِى وَلِوَٰلِدَيْكَ إِلَىَّ ٱلْمَصِيرُ
وَإِن جَـٰهَدَاكَ عَلَىٰٓ أَن تُشْرِكَ بِى مَا لَيْسَ لَكَ بِهِۦ عِلْمٌ فَلَا تُطِعْهُمَا ۖ وَصَاحِبْهُمَا فِى ٱلدُّنْيَا مَعْرُوفًا
So be grateful to Me and your parents. To Me is the final return. But if they pressure you to associate partners with Me what you have no knowledge of, do not obey them. And still keep their company in this world courteously.
Surah Luqman: 14-15
Allah Most High has ordered that parents be shown gratitude and that they are accompanied with kindness even if they are unbelievers. The cause (sabab) of the revelation of this verse is explained in the following report:
Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqas said that:
I was a man who was good to his mother but when I became Muslim she said “O Sa’d, what is this I see from you – you have brought about something new. Leave this religion of yours or I will not eat or drink until I die! Then you will be blamed for what happens to me and it will be said ‘O one who killed his mother!'”. I said “O mother, do not do that because I will not leave my religion for anything.” She didn’t eat for a day and night and then she awoke the next morning exhausted. But she didn’t eat for another day and night and became even more exhausted. So when I saw this I said “O mother, by Allah, you know that even if you had one-hundred souls, and each soul departed one after the other, I would not leave this religion of mine for anything. So if you want to eat then do so and if you do not want to then do not.” When she saw that, she ate and then this ayah was revealed.
Abu Ya’la, Tabarani, Ibn Mardawayh, Ibn Asakir and Abu Uthman al-Nahdi narrated it
Asma (the daughter of Abu Bakr as-Sideeq) said that:
During the time of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, my mother, who was not Muslim, came to me. I asked the Messenger of Allah ﷺ about it, saying ‘My mother has come to me and she is desirous of my company. Shall I keep ties with her?’ He ﷺ said “Yes keep ties with your mother.”
Ibn Uyana said that then the following ayah was revealed:
لَّا يَنْهَىٰكُمُ ٱللَّهُ عَنِ ٱلَّذِينَ لَمْ يُقَـٰتِلُوكُمْ فِى ٱلدِّينِ وَلَمْ يُخْرِجُوكُم مِّن دِيَـٰرِكُمْ أَن تَبَرُّوهُمْ وَتُقْسِطُوٓا۟ إِلَيْهِمْ ۚ إِنَّ ٱللَّهَ يُحِبُّ ٱلْمُقْسِطِينَ
Allah does not forbid you from dealing kindly and fairly with those who have neither fought nor driven you out of your homes. Surely Allah loves those who are fair.
Surah al-Mutahana: 8
Narrated by Bukhari, Muslim, Abu Dawud and al-Bayhaqi (in shu’ab al-Iman)
Abu Hurayra reported that:
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ passed by Abdullah ibn Ubay ibn Salul1 who was under some shade. He said ‘Ibn Abu Kabshah has passed us by’2. His son Abdullah3 said to the Prophet ﷺ ‘By the One who honoured you and revealed the Quran onto you, if you wish, I will bring you his head! The Prophet ﷺ said “No, rather, be good to your father and show him excellent companionship.“
Al-Tabarani narrated it in al-Awsat
Footnotes
- Abdullah ibn Ubay was the chief hypocrite (munafiq) during the life of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ. The hypocrites were those people in Medina who would pretend to be Muslims but in reality they were not believers and they would plot again the Muslims.
- This was meant as an insult to the Prophet ﷺ.
- Abdullah ibn Ubay had a son called Abdullah and he, unlike his father, was a true Muslim.
Orthodox Muslim 