This is the fourth in a series of translations of selections from the work Matali al-Budur fi jawami akhbar al-Burur by Sheikh Ahmed al-Sideeq al-Ghumari al-Hasani. This excellent book is a compilation of Hadith divided into over 80 chapters on the topic of being good to parents (Birr al-Walidayn). ‘Birr al-Walidayn’ can mean to show parents kindness, righteousness, obedience, to give them excellent companionship, and to maintain ties with them amongst many other meanings. In-sha-Allah I will be translating excerpts and adding some of the Sheikh’s commentary as footnotes. Wa billahi al-tawfiq.

Part 4 – The Necessity of Obeying Them With Regards To Divorcing The Wife

Abdullah ibn Umar reported that:

I had a wife who I loved however my father (Umar ibn al-Khattab) disliked her. He ordered me to divorce her but I refused. Then he mentioned this to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ who said to me “O Abdullah ibn Umar. Divorce your wife.” (And in another narration): “Obey your father and divorce your wife.”

Reported by Imam Ahmed, Abu Dawud, Tirmidhi (who said it is Hasan Saheeh), al-Nisai, Ibn Majah and Ibn Hibban in his Saheeh.

A man asked Imam Ahmed bin Hanbal regarding this and said “My father ordered me to divorce my wife. Should I divorce her?” Imam Ahmed said “Do not divorce her”. So the man said “But didn’t Umar order his son to divorce his wife?”. Imam Ahmed replied “When your father becomes similar to Umar (this will apply to you)”. So this proves that the type of father who it is necessary to obey in this type of situation is one who is just.¹

Footnotes

1. This shows that legal rulings are to be taken from the books of fiqh and not directly from the books of Hadith. The Quran and Hadith are sources of fiqh. Someone may read this Hadith and think that it is wajib to divorce their wife if the parents commands them to. The majority of the scholars of fiqh however agreed that it is not wajib as they did not understand this Hadith in isolation but rather alongside all of the other evidences on the same topic. When everything is understood collectively it is clear that this Hadith was specific to that Sahabi, hence why Imam Ahmed clearly stated that the man did not need to divorce his wife since his father was not like Sayiduna Umar. There is also the Hadith “Do not harm nor reciprocate harm” (Ibn Majah) which provides a principle which Ulema used to govern many texts such as this one. (Translators note. Also see ‘Rights of parents’ by Sheikh Muhammad Mawlud, translation and commentary by Rami Nsour)